Thursday, January 31, 2008

New Soul



“I'm a new soul I came to this strange world hoping I could learn a bit about how to give and take”

I’m less than two weeks away from having the privilege of saying I’ve survived the first 30 years of my life. I know it doesn’t get easier so a bit of reflection is in order. Thriving is not the right word but it’s the first that comes to mind. I need to stop ripping off Chuck Palahniuk.

“But since I came here felt the joy and the fear finding myself making every possible mistake”

I started going to the gym about two years ago. Off and on of course, more on than not but we all have relapses of some kind, que no? One thing I’ve learned about life is that it’s a lot like an aerobics class at Bally’s.

“La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la”

You have the ill-equipped who have an undying will to work it. Despite having been dealt a bad hand they press along, looking around at those better suited for survival. Still, they look straight, put on their game face and try to keep up with the rest of the crowd the best they can. I love the maladjusted.

“I'm a young soul in this very strange world hoping I could learn a bit about what is true and fake”

You have the shy kind that hide in the back. They overcompensate by limiting their space and are scared to flail their arms about, afraid to kick too high. They navigate within the confines of their own personality, not letting themselves invade another’s space in fear of offending, in fear of making their existence and imperfections known to others. Not knowing that embracing these imperfections and occasionally offending those around them for the sake of expressing their individuality is the thing to do. I just want a good yell sometimes!

“But why all this hate? Try to communicate finding just that love is not always easy to make”

There’s the one that does everything wrong and doesn’t even try to do things right; yet exits happy. Exuding the cliché that ignorance is bliss. Even a broken clock is correct twice a day right?

“La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la”

The perfect one. The loneliest one. Looking the part, doing everything right, hardly breaking a sweat. Succeeding and smelling great in all conditions. Every move is calculated. At times, they wear an undeserving sense of accomplishment on their sleeve. They’re in their own perfect world. But still, when they lay their heads and float into R.E.M. they remain unhappy and unfulfilled for whatever reason.

“This is a happy end, cause' you don't understand, everything you have done, why's everything so wrong”

Then there’s the one that doesn’t care what the next guy/gal is doing. Blindly and carelessly kicking, jumping without a care in the world, running into others; not realizing they are hurting and/or disrupting those closest to him/her.

“This is a happy end, come and give me your hand, I'll take you far away"

There are a few that check out too soon.

“I'm a new soul I came to this strange world hoping I could learn a bit about how to give and take but since I came here felt the joy and the fear finding myself making every possible mistake”

But my favorite is the one smack dab in the middle of the floor. Vehemently opposed to the conventional rhythm of the rest. Jumping to his own beat, closing the door to the eyes of judgment. Loving every minute of it while making countless mistakes, failing and succeeding at once. He knows what the other don’t. He manages to look beyond the crowd and find himself in the mirror only to smile at his immaculate faults.

“La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la”

New Orleans and everything in between wait. My sister speaks of a new life and I wait. It’s been almost 22 years since I learned to love a soul from scratch, from day one and I look forward to relearning and rehashing old wounds.

To new love(s) and 30 more years!

2 comments:

descobar73@yahoo.com said...

Hey Lucio,

Great blog. Your life's comparison to an aerobics class was great. I think I know some of those souls you speak of. You should do a comparison of life with the Bar scene. I think you will hit life right on target with this type of comparison. So many souls to compare... Such as the prey and predator. The label zombie, the dramatic drunk and bouncer. So many to add... I think you can write this comparison. Anyway, thanks for citing. You can get points marked off if this was turned in to be graded.
Happy New Year, Man! Remember our thirties is the new twenties...

David aka CB Salvi...

Anonymous said...

hey sexy what have you been up to?